[ale] Version Change Considerations

[Scott Perkins]

To: Technical Support:
 
 Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend simulation 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and   noticed
that  the new program began unexpected child processing that   took up a lot  of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this   phenomenon was  included in
the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0  installs  itself  into all other
programs and launches during system    initialization,  where it monitors all
other system activity.
 
 Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and
 Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
 selected.  I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
 attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am
 thinking  about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the un-install for    Wife
1.0  does  not work.
 
 further research reveals that this is a very common problem male   employees
complain about, but  it is mostly due to a primary   misconception. Many people
upgrade  from Girlfriend 7.0 to  Wife 1.0   with the idea that Wife 1.0 is
merely  a > UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT  program.
 
 Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
 everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
 still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within
 your  system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing  is 
gained.
 
 It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files
 from   the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0
 because   Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
 Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0, but end up
 with   more problems than the original system. Look in your help file   under  
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".
 
 I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
 Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
 entire   section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must  assume 
all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
 regardless of   their cause. The best course of action will be to enter  the 
DOS-command   C:\APOLOGIZE or click the I'm SORRY! icon for  Macintosh systems.
 
 In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you
 will   have to give the APOLOGIZE/SORRY command before the operating   system 
will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as  you  take the  
blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program,   but very high  
maintenance.
 
 Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of
 Wife   1.0.  I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.  DO NOT, under  any  
circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.  This is   believed to be
a fatal resource allocation conflict and thusly is not   not a  supported
application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause
 irreversible  damage to YOUR hardware such that later reinstalls would
 be difficult.
 
 Best of luck.