[ale] OT I had to relate this Comcast conversation with y'all

[rhia]

Jim

I have found it very helpful to use the "My iron, she no get hot" reply
when dealing with cable providers and other such nonsensical outsourced
headaches. It helps to channel (Perfect Strangers) Balki and (Taxi)
Latka.  Even after more than a decade in support, if they can dish the
BS, they should be able to handle it.

(BTW, the difference is obviously the "if it costs more, it must be
better" otherwise known as exactly what the web page shows: the cost.)

----
rhia



On Mon, 2012-06-25 at 19:51 -0400, Jim Lynch wrote:
> Conversation with Comcast Chat.
> 
> 
> Jim: Hi, we are purchasing a home on St. Simons Island and will be 
> closing on it next month. I have looked at the online offers. I see two 
> offers I might be interested in, one is the Digital Starter Package, the 
> other is the Preferred Package. The first says “more than 80 channels 
> available”, the second says “more than 100 channels available” however 
> if I click on the associated “channel lineup” for each, then compare 
> them, they are identical. What's the difference?
> 
> 
> Ann: Hi, Jim, I'm happy to help you, can I have the address of the 
> installation?
> 
> 
> Jim: <address given>
> 
> 
> Ann: What services do you currently have at that location.
> 
> 
> Jim: Huh? What part of “we are purchasing … will be closing ...” do you 
> not understand?
> 
> 
> Ann: <no response>
> 
> 
> Jim: Do you know we don't own the place yet?
> 
> 
> Ann: Congratulations! We have multiple specially priced packages 
> available at that location. Can I have your phone number and have a 
> specialist call you?
> 
> 
> Jim: no just answer the question.
> 
> 
> Ann: what number can he call you back at?
> 
> 
> Jim: Are you a robot?
> 
> 
> Ann: <no response>
> 
> 
> Jim: Either you are a robot or a person pressing macro buttons sending 
> canned messages.
> 
> 
> Ann: I am a person.
> 
> 
> Jim: I seriously doubt that! My phone number is <given>
> 
> 
> Ann: I'll have someone call you within 5 minutes .
> 
> 
> Ann: It's been a pleasure assisting you today.
> 
> 
> Jim: bye
> 
> 
> So about 5 minutes later (why can't service be that prompt?) I get a 
> call from Steve, with a heavy Indian accent.
> 
> 
> Steve: I understand you want to sign up for services with us. Can I get 
> the address that you need service at?
> 
> 
> Jim. <give address>
> 
> 
> Steve: I see that we can offer you many services at that location <and 
> goes off on telling me what he can do for me>
> 
> 
> Jim: Wait. I just want an answer to my question. <Steve rattles on for a 
> bit before I'm able to interrupt him. I then repeat my dilemma with the 
> channel lists>
> 
> 
> Steve: In addition to ESPN you get …. and with Nickelodeon you also get …
> 
> 
> Jim: Wait, but why are the lists on the webpage the same?
> 
> 
> Steve: <goes into another description of the differences>
> 
> 
> Jim: Hold it. Are you saying that the lists are the same because there 
> are differences not listed?
> 
> 
> Steve: The listing shows the differences. Go to <some web page that is 
> an actual side by side comparison>
> 
> 
> Jim: But the page that came up when I followed the links when I put my 
> address in didn't show any differences in the channel lineup.
> 
> 
> Steve: <Ignoring me completely went on to describe the differences blah 
> blah blah> … and with the $119 package you get
> 
> 
> Jim:<interrupting> Wait, wait. Listen I only need to be able to watch 
> TV. I don't want a $119 package.
> 
> 
> Steve: With the … package we can provide you with phone, TV and Internet 
> service …
> 
> 
> Jim: I just want to watch tv. Don't you have anything more basic than 
> the Digital Starter service?
> 
> 
> Steve: The digital starter service is only $... if you contract for 2 
> years it goes to $... <some higher number> after one year and then is 
> $... after that. Otherwise it is $... for the first <interrupted by me>
> 
> 
> Jim: I can read. Thanks. I don't see anything on the Preferred list I 
> want to watch so I guess I'll need the Digital Starter package.
> 
> 
> Steve: Give me a contact phone number and I'll give you an order number 
> and a contact number for installation services.
> 
> 
> Jim: I don't want to place an order just yet.
> 
> 
> Steve: You don't have to pay for anything until after installation but 
> to lock in the price I've quoted you, you need to place an order.
> 
> 
> Jim: <gives him the info>
> 
> 
> Steve: <recites order number and installation services phone number>
> 
> 
> Steve: We have an arrangement with <some company> to provide you a modem 
> and wireless router at a discount, can we place that on the order?
> 
> 
> Jim: I thought I wasn't ordering Internet services from you.
> 
> 
> Steve: that's fine. We also for $6.xx can provide service for your modem 
> and wireless router can I sign you up for that?
> 
> 
> Jim: Why on earth would I need service for something that I'm not going 
> to order nor can I use? Are you sure you're not a computer? Or are you 
> reading from a sheet using as little of your mind as is possible? You're 
> last two questions are idiotic!
> 
> 
> Steve: That's fine. Thank you for letting me assist you and please stay 
> on the line for installation services
> 
> 
> Jim: What? I have no idea when we will close, when I will be there and 
> even if I'm going to order anything.
> 
> 
> Steve: That's fine. Thank you for letting me assist you, goodbye.
> 
> 
> 
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