[ale] OT I had to relate this Comcast conversation with y'all

[Jim Lynch]

Conversation with Comcast Chat.


Jim: Hi, we are purchasing a home on St. Simons Island and will be 
closing on it next month. I have looked at the online offers. I see two 
offers I might be interested in, one is the Digital Starter Package, the 
other is the Preferred Package. The first says “more than 80 channels 
available”, the second says “more than 100 channels available” however 
if I click on the associated “channel lineup” for each, then compare 
them, they are identical. What's the difference?


Ann: Hi, Jim, I'm happy to help you, can I have the address of the 
installation?


Jim: <address given>


Ann: What services do you currently have at that location.


Jim: Huh? What part of “we are purchasing … will be closing ...” do you 
not understand?


Ann: <no response>


Jim: Do you know we don't own the place yet?


Ann: Congratulations! We have multiple specially priced packages 
available at that location. Can I have your phone number and have a 
specialist call you?


Jim: no just answer the question.


Ann: what number can he call you back at?


Jim: Are you a robot?


Ann: <no response>


Jim: Either you are a robot or a person pressing macro buttons sending 
canned messages.


Ann: I am a person.


Jim: I seriously doubt that! My phone number is <given>


Ann: I'll have someone call you within 5 minutes .


Ann: It's been a pleasure assisting you today.


Jim: bye


So about 5 minutes later (why can't service be that prompt?) I get a 
call from Steve, with a heavy Indian accent.


Steve: I understand you want to sign up for services with us. Can I get 
the address that you need service at?


Jim. <give address>


Steve: I see that we can offer you many services at that location <and 
goes off on telling me what he can do for me>


Jim: Wait. I just want an answer to my question. <Steve rattles on for a 
bit before I'm able to interrupt him. I then repeat my dilemma with the 
channel lists>


Steve: In addition to ESPN you get …. and with Nickelodeon you also get …


Jim: Wait, but why are the lists on the webpage the same?


Steve: <goes into another description of the differences>


Jim: Hold it. Are you saying that the lists are the same because there 
are differences not listed?


Steve: The listing shows the differences. Go to <some web page that is 
an actual side by side comparison>


Jim: But the page that came up when I followed the links when I put my 
address in didn't show any differences in the channel lineup.


Steve: <Ignoring me completely went on to describe the differences blah 
blah blah> … and with the $119 package you get


Jim:<interrupting> Wait, wait. Listen I only need to be able to watch 
TV. I don't want a $119 package.


Steve: With the … package we can provide you with phone, TV and Internet 
service …


Jim: I just want to watch tv. Don't you have anything more basic than 
the Digital Starter service?


Steve: The digital starter service is only $... if you contract for 2 
years it goes to $... <some higher number> after one year and then is 
$... after that. Otherwise it is $... for the first <interrupted by me>


Jim: I can read. Thanks. I don't see anything on the Preferred list I 
want to watch so I guess I'll need the Digital Starter package.


Steve: Give me a contact phone number and I'll give you an order number 
and a contact number for installation services.


Jim: I don't want to place an order just yet.


Steve: You don't have to pay for anything until after installation but 
to lock in the price I've quoted you, you need to place an order.


Jim: <gives him the info>


Steve: <recites order number and installation services phone number>


Steve: We have an arrangement with <some company> to provide you a modem 
and wireless router at a discount, can we place that on the order?


Jim: I thought I wasn't ordering Internet services from you.


Steve: that's fine. We also for $6.xx can provide service for your modem 
and wireless router can I sign you up for that?


Jim: Why on earth would I need service for something that I'm not going 
to order nor can I use? Are you sure you're not a computer? Or are you 
reading from a sheet using as little of your mind as is possible? You're 
last two questions are idiotic!


Steve: That's fine. Thank you for letting me assist you and please stay 
on the line for installation services


Jim: What? I have no idea when we will close, when I will be there and 
even if I'm going to order anything.


Steve: That's fine. Thank you for letting me assist you, goodbye.