[ale] If Abbott & Costello had computers

[Scott Castaline]

On Mon, 2006-12-11 at 11:43 -0500, Jeff Lightner wrote:
> Of course you could do something like the old "who's on first" thing
> with the commands "who and which" and if using ksh "whence" and if on
> HP-UX "what".  There's no "I don't know" - that's reserved for M$
> products.
> 
Now that really fits the window.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: ale-bounces at ale.org [mailto:ale-bounces at ale.org] On Behalf Of S C
> C
> Sent: Monday, December 11, 2006 11:21 AM
> To: Atlanta Linux Enthusiasts
> Subject: Re: [ale] If Abbott & Costello had computers
> 
> "Who's on First?" is one of the first things I downloaded on Napster
> back when it was p2p.
> 
> ...I no longer have it on any computer. :(
> 
> On 12/11/06, Scott Castaline <hscast at charter.net> wrote:
> > Good one..........:=)
> >
> > On Mon, 2006-12-11 at 09:43 -0500, James P. Kinney III wrote:
> > >
> > > You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too
> old
> > > to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.? For those
> of
> > > us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
> > >
> > > If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous
> sketch,
> > > "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
> > >
> > > COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
> > >
> > >
> > >   ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
> thinking
> > > about buying a computer.
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Mac?
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Your computer?
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Mac?
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: What about Windows?
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
> > > proposals, track expenses and run my business? What do you have?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Office.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: I just did.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: You just did what?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Recommend something.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: You recommended something?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Yes.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: For my office?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Yes.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Office.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say
> I'm
> > > sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal? What do I
> need?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Word.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: What word?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Word in Office.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
> some
> > > straight answers? What about financial bookkeeping? You have
> anything I
> > > can track my money with?
> > >
> > > ABBOT T: Money.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Money.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Money.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: One copy.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
> > >
> > >
> > > (A few days later)
> > >
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
> > >
> > > COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
> > >
> > > ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
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