[ale] Future Pizza Order

walter Sams wsams at southernlink.net
Mon Dec 29 08:38:37 EST 2003


Point well taken
walter sams
On Mon, 2003-12-22 at 17:00, Robert Heaven wrote:
> A Pizza order in the (near) future...
> 
> Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national
> ID number?"
> Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
> Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
> Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
> 6102049998-45-54610."
> Operator: "Thank you, Mr.  Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
> Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
> Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which
> number are you calling from, sir?"
> Customer: "Huh?  I'm at home.  Where d'ya get all this information?"
> Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
> Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
> All-Meat Special pizzas."
> Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
> Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
> Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very
> high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National
> Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
> Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
> Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll
> like it."
> Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
> Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
> local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
> Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
> Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
> kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."
> Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
> Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
> Your credit card balance is over its limit."
> Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
> driver gets here."
> Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
> overdrawn."
> Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
> How long will it take?"
> Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
> minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
> you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can
> be a little awkward."
> Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
> Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so
> your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.
> Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
> Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got
> a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
> Customer: (Speechless)
> Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
> Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
> Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
> from offering free soda to diabetics."
> 
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