news from the net .....:^)

[Mark Walters]

INTEL STOCK SPLIT ANNOUNCED

Santa Clara, CA, 12/2/94

Intel  (NASDAQ: INTC) today announced a 3 for 1.99994562416 stock split
effective Jan 5, 1995, for stockholders of record as of Dec 9, 1994.

Although analysts were surprised about the strange ratio in the stock split,
an Intel spokesman stated that "That's just the way the math worked out!"

Intel also filed a motion with the SEC requesting that it be allowed to
publish it's financial reports to only 1 or 2 significant digits stating that:
"There are significant efficiencies to be gained, both in the preparation and
printing of financial reports.  Just as taxpayers can choose to file returns
using the whole dollar method, we feel we can get financial reports out much
faster if we don't have to rerun all our spreadsheets through a PowerPC to
verify them. Besides, most investors only care about the first 2 significant
digits anyway!"

In related news, Microsoft Corporation  (NASDAQ: MSFT) announced that its
chairman, Bill Gates, had filed for personal bankruptcy after discovering
that his personal net worth had been overstated by approximately $8 billion due
to a undisclosed computer glitch.

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